Toxic Positivity

Are we trapped to feel happy ALL THE TIME?

Positivity is good but like everything else in our life, when done excessively, it becomes toxic.

In our super-positive society, we have zero tolerance for negativity. So, we desperately want to feel good and have a positive social outlook. But do you want a fake happy relationship or do you want people to validate how you truly feel, for better and for worse?

I used to be a person with excessive positivity. I believed that people in good wholeheartedly and trusted every word they said was gonna be fulfilled. When it was not, I felt sad and disappointed. Then I felt all the guilt and shame about the feelings that I had.

I was not empathetic enough, I was being too critical of others. I suppressed the feelings and told myself: "everything happened for a reason, I need to be grateful for what I have right now. It is what it is. At least I still have ______". So I left my feelings invalidated and pretended all is well, and things were not that bad. At least they promised to change, right? stay hopeful!🤞 

I was so afraid of conflict that I persuaded myself everyone has their way to operate, I needed to be open-minded and more adaptable. If there was anything not going as expected, it must be I was not trying hard enough.

At this time, I was hopelessly positive with excessive self-criticism. Before changes came, I got destroyed by those suppressed feelings. I was mentally ill, overwhelmed by unprocessed emotions.

Now, I know, the "Think positively" way of living is not healthy. Difficult emotions like anger, sadness, and resentment, act as our inner compass to navigate through life. For example, anger usually is a good indicator showing that your boundaries are being violated. It's okay to have unpleasant feelings, and not be okay ALL THE TIME. Be kind to yourself.

Toxic positivity behavior can not only act inwards but also outwards. Have you ever shamed a person for not being positive enough when they are telling you about their difficulties? Or have you ever brushed off someone with a statement like "it is what it is" to invalidate their current feelings?

Or have you been treated with toxic positive behavior?

Does your workplace, family, and friends promote all kinds of emotions? And what's their reaction if you try to express something that doesn't have a positive social outlook?

Life is not just rainbows. Be kind to ourselves, be kind to others, and recognize the behavior when positivity is excessive. Striving for feeling happy is setting yourself to failure. Strive for purpose and direction in life, and feel interested, content, and fulfilled.

Don't stay positive. Stay truthful! 😉