The Burnout Culture

“I was burned out.”

This is how I felt after 6 months of working in tech.

I don’t know what happened, but I noticed I need to get help after I have a self-harming thought for the first time in my entire life.

Now I left the workplace and I finally have some breathing room to examine my journey on what doesn’t work and how can I design a no-burnout framework of my own as I re-enter the workplace.

3 types of burnout and 3 common symptoms.

1. Overload burnout: You work crazy hours in response to the high demand of your job.

2. Under-Challenged burnout: Your work is boring and repetitive, lack of development and lack of growth opportunity.

3. Neglect burnout: You try to change the environment, but things are still going the way it is. You expect different outcomes but the reality goes another direction. You feel demoralized and therefore disengaged.

And those types have encompassed 3 common symptoms:

1. Exhaustion: You feel exhausted, physically and emotionally. You need to deliberately take breaks to rest, but once you back to the workplace, you feel entirely drained right away.

2. Depersonalization: You become irritated and cynical. You stop seeing the positive side of things. You get annoyed by the little things that didn’t bother you before. Your personality changes that you feel powerless to control.

3. Reduced personal achievement: You see failure everywhere, you start to identify yourself as a bad employee, and you are unworthy to stay, and you achieve nothing but making chaos.

I have experienced all 3 types and shown 3 symptoms from my previous role.

I was overloaded while working for two companies simultaneously. At peak, I had six projects on my plate. I took leaves to ace my work performance. I was overwhelmed and exhausted. I neglected my mental health, therefore, the self-harming thought. It was an awakening moment that I still felt grateful for, I made the decision to quit one of the companies and focus on the one that I enjoy working on more.

Things went well until it isn’t.

Over time, the tasks become repetitive and unchallenged. There is no room for growth. I feel bored and demotivated. Working in a one-person design team remotely also takes a mental toll on me. There was a sweet honeymoon period we’ve all experienced. When you start a new thing, every aspect of it seems wonderful, and you feel you can make an impact. But over time, you realize, change is difficult. You saw the areas that need improvement, you pointed them out, and you proposed solutions. But things still go the way it is, just like you toss a stone into the water and there are little ripples whatsoever.

I am no longer that sweet person anymore. I noticed myself feeling upset whenever I open slack, no matter it is a task requirement, or a team announcement, no matter whether the message tone is neutral or positive. I felt annoyed. And I hate those feelings. I got triggered by every post on slack. So to avoid those triggers, and just focus on my responsibilities (aka unfulfilling tasks), I decided to leave all the unnecessary channels, and stop engaging in social events.

“Out of sight, out of mind.” that’s my coping strategy for not feeling like garbage.

Eventually, I was disconnected and disengaged. I don’t care about the company anymore, the workplace that I can’t change, and the tasks that lack growth potential.

“Not my circus, not my monkeys”

I was completely and utterly burnout. So I made the same decision again.

Burnout comes from chronic workplace stress. Everyone experiences it differently. It’s a sin of our modern hustle culture, and how a successful life and person are socially perceived. The workplace is merely one element it contributes to burnout.

_{Disclaimer: This post is about my personal experience of burnout. Its purpose is not to belittle the companies I worked for. And yes, I was burned by writing this kind of post before, so I wanted to make it extra clear.B}